May 13 2016

The Flintstones: Bedrock Racing (PS2) – 60 Second Gamer 14

Welcome to Bedrock, a hotbed of racing since the stone age. Maybe. The game offers 12 characters and 12 tracks to race around. Quite a substantial number, you might think. Nope.

Tracks and courses are unlocked by collecting all 8 dinosaur eggs per track and getting a top 3 finish. By collecting the two dinosaur bones per track you can pimp your ride, stone age style. This is applied to all characters no matter who you’ve raced as. Not that they have any noticeable effect on your driving. Everybody handles the same except perhaps for the Great Gazoo. He has a distinct advantage in that he can fly everywhere. No trouble with land based obstacles there, no sir. Dinosaur meat steaks dotted around the track also give you brief speed bursts, but you can probably win a race without ever picking one up.

Once you get into the routine, each race is an exercise in familiarity. The tracks all look the same, and once you’re in first place it becomes a two horse race between you and whichever computer controlled character sits in second. Even switching characters offers little in the way of variation, with only subtle differences between each racer.

You soon realise that you haven’t had to use the brakes for, well, ever. You can simply glide around the track at top speed and not have to worry about crashing into obstacles. Unless you deliberately choose to do so, obviously. The handling is okay, but nothing special. Unlike most karting games there’s no power slides or drifting. Luck you don’t need them then, really.

There are the almost obligatory time trial and multiplayer modes, but once you’ve played through the game once and unlocked everything that will probably be the last time you pick it up. There’s almost no challenge at all and that’s perhaps the most disappointing part of it.

May 09 2016

The Iron Man Show – Episode 06

This week’s episode of The Iron Man Show saw The Real Deal Simon Prior, The Fallen Angel and Old Man Joey discuss the following:

  1. WWE Payback review and analysis

    We discussed the most recent PPV event and the first since Wrestlemania 32. Was it bang or a bust? Was it Total Bella or a 6 sided ring? Well, things got off to a shaky start thanks to the inadvertent concussion to Enzo Amore. As for the rest of the show? It had its good and bad moments, we’ll say that much.

  2. News

    In this week’s news we looked at WWE’s release of a number of reasonably high profile members of the roster and, er, a few not so high profile. Amongst those on their way out: Wade Barrett, Hornswoggle, Alex Riley, Cameron, Santino Marella, El Torito, Damian Sandow and Zeb Colter.

  3. Overrated or Underrated – Wade Barrett

    Seeing as he’s likely not to show up on our screens again any time soon (see above in the news), we had to decide whether Wade Barrett is an overrated or underrated superstar. I think it goes without saying, bearing in mind how badly he was booked, which side of the fence we fell on.

  4. This week’s NXT

    Old Man Joey has kept up with goings on in the world of NXT, so he provides an update on this week’s episode. The arrival of Eric Young could shake things up a little in NXT land. It should be interesting to see how he does.

  5. Camp WWE – Episode 01

    So what did we think of the first episode of Camp WWE? Was it a whole lot of “Whooo!” or was it a massive letdown? If a show which portrays Ric Flair having sex with a bear, Vince McMahon as the OTT owner of a summer camp, and Sgt Slaughter as a bringer of destruction, then this might very well be the show for you.

If you’ve downloaded this episode through iTunes – great. Leave us a five star review if you do, that’d be appreciated. Otherwise, you can pick it up through Deezer, Stitcher, or your podcatcher of choice. Simon likes to use Pocket Casts, but there are plenty of others out there.

If you want to get in touch, drop an email through to randomstoat@gmail.com

May 06 2016

International Track and Field (PS1) review – 60 Second Gamer 13

After their Track and Field games achieved success in the 1980s, Konami resurrected the series in 3D on the PS1. This is International Track and Field. Oh yes. While it lacks any long term replay value in single player, there is much to be said for the multiplayer side of the game. This is where you’re likely to put in the most hours, and cause yourself the most injuries. Button bashing games require a certain temperament to avoid inflicting serious injury, shall we say.

There’s no official olympic licence here, but it looks the part. There’s no clutter and it’s easy enough to know what you’re expected to do in each event. There’s a pure simplicity to the setup, one that is easy to appreciate almost 20 years after its release.

Frantic four player action follows as you try to best each other across 11 different olympic events, button bashing to achieve the position of number one in the world. That you are fighting for this ranking is repeated at the start of every single event. Yes, thank you, we got it the first time.

Controls are a simple combo of two or three buttons, which are easy to learn but increasingly difficult to master. And that’s it, really. Once you’ve mastered each event it’s just a case of trying to beat your previous best score. This can delight and annoy in equal measure, especially if you think the game is cheating you out of a number one ranking. Here’s a hint: it probably isn’t.

If you have a copy of the game still lying around and three friends to compete against, International Track and Field still holds up today. And who wouldn’t want to find out if they’re number one in the world? We know we would. And then find out we’re not very good at all.

May 02 2016

The Iron Man Show – Episode 05

Episode 05 of the Iron Man Show Wrestling Podcast covered the following topics:

Challenge – Who will be picked for the 2017 Hall of Fame?

Old Man Joey is challenged with predicting the entrants for the 2017 Hall of Fame. Come back in just under a year to see if he got it right.

Main Event Jobber – WCW Bunkhouse Stampede 1988

Simon made a mistake by suggesting this main event – he actually meant the Tower of Doom match from Great American Bash 1988. Still, we watched the Bunkhouse Stampede main event which saw Dusty Rhodes, Arn Anderson, The Barbarian, The Warlord, Tully Blanchard, Ivan Koloff, Lex Luger and Road Warrior Animal competing in a steel cage match.

King of the Ring Tournament – Best Announcer

A new feature this week. We start a King of the Ring style tournament to determine who is the best ring announcer ever. For obvious reasons Jim Ross (JR) is not included in the tournament. So you could say we’re looking for the second best announcer. The first half of the bracket is covered.

Botch to Broadway – Spring Stampede 1999

We watched WCW Spring Stampede 1999, supposedly the last of the decent WCW PPV events. We cover every match on the card

Tag Team War – Ax or Smash (not Crush)

Another new feature. We discuss tag teams from the past and pick which of the two was the better wrestler, or the better entertainer. This week it’s Demolition, the bondage wearing three time tag team champions. Again, for obvious reasons we did not include Crush in this discussion.

King of the Ring Tournament – Greatest Intercontinental Champion

This is the same sort of thing as the Best Announcer tournament, but for the IC title. This week we cover the first half of the bracket.

Did you like the episode? Leave us a review on iTunes. Want to share your thoughts, or have a feature you’d like us to discuss on the show? Contact us through Twitter or drop an email through to us at randomstoat@gmail.com.

The show is available for download on iTunes, Stitcher, and your podcatcher of choice. Search of “Iron Man Wrestling Show” on those services to find us.

Apr 29 2016

50 Cent: Bulletproof (PS2) review – 60 Second Gamer 12

Have you ever wanted to be a hip hop superstar, but lacked the bling, gold teeth and thug life attitude to do it? Then fear not! Because 50 Cent: Bulletproof might just be the game you’re looking for. Unless, you know, you don’t want to be a hip hop superstar. If that’s the case then you’re better off playing Tetris or something that’s not likely to get your pulse going.

After being shot up and left for dead, Fiddy, as he’s known to his friends, kills and maims loads of bad guys on his quest for revenge. Helped by Eminem (aka bent cop McVicar) and the G-Unit, he discovers chairs facing beds, huge wads of cash lying around, and the strange dead eyed stare of comrades and enemies alike. Is there hidden symbolism behind all of this? Nobody knows for sure.

But what about the game itself? Aiming is slow and awkward, with you pumping more bullets into the scenery than you do at your numerous enemies, and character models are repeated. Again and again and again.

Objectives are hidden in the menu, which is typical for the era but it means you stop and start more than is necessary, ruining any flow that you try to build. Who wants to stare at a digital replica of a digital smartwatch when there are thugs to kill?

On the positive side, the counter-kills and focus deaths are fun, but they can be quite fiddly to achieve, especially when you have goons (no, not them) shooting at you. Auto lock-on would have been useful. It’s either that or we were just not very good at playing the game. It’s probably the latter.

The story might be solid and gritty, but the poor objective setting and fiddly controls spoil an otherwise solid effort.

Apr 25 2016

The Iron Man Show – Episode 04

The Iron Man Show – Episode 04 saw “The Real Deal” Simon Prior, The Fallen Angel and Old Man Joey cover the following:

1. Iron Man Show – Episode 04: Latest Pro Wrestling News

The death of the 9th Wonder of the World Chyna dominated most of our news section this week. We also referenced the death of ECW Original Balls Mahoney. Both were lost before their time

Our news section also, briefly, covered the lawsuit that Rene Dupree had raised against WWE. The lawsuit was promptly dropped after WWE revealed Dupree had signed a contract agreeing that his likeness could be used. That was pretty much it – we didn’t want to give him any more coverage than was absolutely necessary. Can anybody remember exactly what he did, anyway? No, thought not.

2. Overrated or Underrated – Rob van Dam

This week’s over or under rated wrestling superstar was Rob van Dam. Was he a bonafide legend in his time? Or was he simply overrated, capable of flexibility and a couple of moves and that’s it. Well, anything is possible in the Iron Man Show!

3. Challenge – 5 Best Matches of… The Ultimate Warrior

“The Real Deal” was given a challenge to pick out the Warrior’s five best matches on the WWE Network. Is this as predictable as you might think? Perhaps. Perhaps. Is his 1991 Body Bag match against the Undertaker a worthy entrant? What about his feuds with Macho Man Randy Savage and Ravishing Rick Rude? All possible entries. See, it is quite predictable.

If you want to contact us about the show, send your email to randomstoat@gmail.com or message us on Twitter @randomstoat. If you enjoy the show, please also leave a review for us on iTunes. However you listen to us, we thank you for your support.

Apr 22 2016

The Sum Of All Fears (PS2) review – 60 Second Gamer Ep11

How do you make a tense action thriller, starring Ben Affleck, translate to a first person video game? Not like this, that’s for certain. He doesn’t even show up, the lazy so and so. What else did he have going on in 2002? Not much.

Controlling a surprisingly out of breath squad of three (just listen to them when they run – hardly at the peak of physical fitness by the sounds of it), your task is to complete eleven missions and take down the bad guys. You can swap out your weapons ahead of each 6-8 minute mission, but as it makes little difference what weapons you use, you can just keep the original load out.

It’s almost too simple on the easiest difficulty setting, with auto lock on aiming removing the need to think about your shot. Just point and fire. Reloading is an automatic process, which can cause issues if you’re locked in a firefight with a room full of bad guys. The last thing you need is for it to start the reloading process when you’re locked in mortal combat (no, not that one). If you switch off automatic aiming, the sluggish controls come to the fore and cause more stress than it’s worth.

There are a few nice touches. If a squad member dies in a mission then it’s game over for them, and they are replaced the next time round. Objectives are clearly signposted, even if the HUD goes a bit mad on occasion. If the real world was like this then we wouldn’t stand a chance.

Ubisoft have let the side down here. A surprisingly poor video game that can be completed in about 90 minutes. Shame, really. A solid Tom Clancy game offers value for money. Just take a look at Ghost Recon or the Rainbow Six series. This, however, does not.

Apr 18 2016

The Iron Man Show – Episode 03

Episode 03 of The Iron Man Show saw us cover the following:

1. Overrated or Underrated? – Ken Shamrock

Our first piece this week sees us decide if “The World’s Most Dangerous Man” Ken Shamrock was an overrated or underrated performer back in the Attitude era. He wasn’t a man of many words and rarely cut a promo, but as a legitimate MMA star he was one of the first crossover stars to provide an air of realism to the world of sports entertainment.

2. Five Best… Matches – “Double J” Jeff Jarrett

This was always going to be difficult. For starters, Jarrett isn’t known as a great wrestler. Besides his high profile involvement in NWA TNA it’s not easy picking out any specific career highlights. Even so, The Fallen Angel was able to locate five matches on the WWE Network that highlighted Jarrett’s abilities in the ring.

3. John Cena Appreciation…?

John Cena is a wrestler who courts controversy amongst fans. Simon missed most of the era where Cena defeated most of the roster so his opinion is coloured by the last 12 months he has been using the WWE Network. As for The Fallen Angel and Old Man Joey? They have their own opinions about The Prototype.

4. A Journey Through The WWE Network – 1988 in Review

Simon has been watching through every event from 1988 on the WWE Network. He hasn’t quite finished it yet, but so far he’s taken in WCW’s Bunkhouse Stampede, the first couple of Clash of the Champions events, and of course all of the then-WWF’s PPV’s from that year apart from Survivor Series. Was it a good year? Yes and no. The differences between WCW and WWF are quite pronounced. On the one hand you have the big, colourful world of WWF. On the other, WCW’s good versus bad, much more realistic approach to storytelling.

5. Wrestlemania 33 Fantasy Card

Our final segment sees Old Man Joey provide a fantasy card for next year’s Wrestlemania. Who will he decide deserves a place on the card for the granddaddy of them all?

If you want to contact us about the show, send your email to randomstoat@gmail.com or message us on Twitter @randomstoat.

Apr 15 2016

Naughty Bear (PS3) review – 60 Second Gamer Episode 10

On paper Naughty Bear is a good idea. A cuddly toy bear, spurned by the other bears around him, goes on a kill crazy rampage to teach them a lesson.

The reality is somewhat less impressive. I know – sad faces all round.

Your role is of course to kill everybody before they can either call the police or make their escape. You have the option to sabotage or destroy escape vehicles, and you can set cunning and occasionally inventive traps to eliminate your targets. You can terrorise the locals and, in extreme cases, cause them to commit suicide. As bright and colourful as this world is, it’s mostly definitely not for kids.

The game mechanics are generally clunky, but you can work your way around them if needed. Each map is much smaller than you’d expect, and repetition is key to progressing through the rest of the game. These baby steps of progression are an exercise in tedium as you replay the same maps over and over again doing something slightly differently each time. Secondary tasks such as destroying balloons or party items are simple distractions that exist solely to add points to your level score.

But there are positives, as few as they are. The quick time event death sequences are imaginative, depicting extreme violence in a world where teddy stuffing replaces blood and gore. Naughty Bear is followed everywhere by an omniscient narrator similar to the type seen in children’s television shows, who cheerfully shouts out the type of kill each time. We had great fun trying to see all of the various death sequence animations, which are context based depending on the weapon you’re holding and what inanimate objects you happen to be stood next to.

It’s a mixed bag of positives and negatives, leaving you with a game that could have been incredible but was instead merely okay.

Before you ask – there isn’t an option to apply a defluffication death on the Narrator, unfortunately. That might have made it all worthwhile.

Apr 11 2016

The Iron Man Show – Episode 02

This week’s episode of The Iron Man Show (available at the end of this post) features discussions on the following topics:

1. Recap of Wrestlemania 32, WWE Raw on 04 April 2016, and the first NXT show after Takeover Dallas.

Most of this show is dedicated to a discussion on the biggest show of the pro wrestling calendar, Wrestlemania 32. We analyse each match from the pre-show to the WWE Title main event, and throw our opinions into the mix. We then briefly talk about the first Raw after Wrestlemania, and NXT episode 329, which was almost exclusively a Takeover Dallas recap. The middle of the show has a solid face-off between Apollo Crews and Elias Samson, which suggests there are good things ahead for both men.

2. Botch to Broadway – ECW Barely Legal 1997.

The first ECW PPV in 1997 was a landmark event for the company, a true indication that they were on their way to entering the big leagues. As history tells us, that ultimately wouldn’t be the case, but looking back you can see the potential the brand had. It’s rough and ready around the edges, certainly, but on the whole it acts as a good advertisement for the brand.

Matches vary from freestyle tag team madness to the blood-soaked violence that ECW is most known for. But in the middle are some solid technical wrestling bouts and a solid Michinoku Pro Wrestling triple tag match. The less said about Shane Douglas vs Pitbull 2, the better.

3. Main Event Jobber – ECW December to Dismember 2006: The Extreme Elimination Chamber main event.

The six competitors in this match were Hardcore Holly, Rob Van Dam, CM Punk, Bobby Lashley, Test and defending champion The Big Show. To say it’s painful to endure would be an understatement. Bad booking and mostly unimpressive performances put this in the “watch once, never again” camp. The only saving grace is CM Punk and a couple of good spots from RvD. On the strength of this event it’s no wonder that ECW’s PPV matches were added to WWE’s normal monthly events.

If you want to contact us about the show, send your email to randomstoat@gmail.com or message us on Twitter @randomstoat.