Aug 26 2010

Camping Holiday – Day 4 – Thursday 19th August 2010

Day 4 started much like the others – myself up early and everybody else gradually waking up in dribs and drabs. The weather was hardly stellar, and after briefly checking through the attractions guide for Cornwall that we had received at the zoo the day before, I found a miniature railway, Lappa Valley, that was about 10 minutes drive away from the campsite. On a few previous holidays myself and Liz had considered visiting one such railway in Wales, but it was always a bit too far away to make the journey worthwhile. So in true British fashion we moved in convoy to our destination.

The route was exclusively country lanes, involving an incident with an old Gypsy trailer, pulled by a horse. A man and a dog seemed to be the couple in charge of the cart, and were in no rush to allow the traffic on either side to continue their respective journeys. After a brief moment of uncertainty he moved to one side and we went on our way.

On arrival the first thing you see is a respectably sized car park and the first station. It all looks rather quaint and pleasant, even more so when you pay and are told that the fee covers everything at the park except for food and a few other little things (quite literally – they were for kids). The ticket station had a drinks machine that provided some incredibly nice hot chocolate for £1, I was almost tempted to grab another cup on my way out, but I resisted the temptation. My wallet thanked me later.

We borded the first train, which was a 15″ gauge railway and had two trains running the 1 mile or so to the the park itself, trains by the name of Muffin and Zebedee. Not quite sure why Muffin was chosen… Our choice of carriage was dubbed as “First Class” – short hand for “grown-ups taller than 5’2″ will have to twist their neck at a jaunty angle to get in and out”. By comparison the standard carriages were much easier to clamber in and out of. On arrival just about everything you’d ever want to see catches your eye immediately. A lake for canoe boating, two other railway lines for the even tinier trains, the crazy golf course (more on that shortly), and a huge mine pumping house and chimney. A history lesson as well as fun! Huzzah!

We had a quick look around before jumping in the canoes and having a paddle around. With the water only being 0.5m deep, my normal fear of water resided like the tides. Or something poetic along those lines. It took some getting used to but steering the canoe got progressively easier until we decided to give it a rest and go have some lunch. The cafe was clearly geared towards the younger audience, and I was struck with that time honoured dilemma of what to have for lunch: cheese or ham on my bap. Cheese seemed to be the smart choice, and was reasonably priced given the slapdash nature of the kitchen. Seemed par for the course on our travels, most places seemed to have a shoddy kitchen but serve some good food.

After lunch we played Crazy Golf. The first seven holes weren’t exactly what you’d call crazy – a patch of mown grass about 10 feet from the previous hole. I started off quite respectably, finishing the first six or seven holes with 2’s and 3’s. Ironically, when we reached the crazy golf section, my score plummeted. Not so much for the fact it had gone crazy, but that the ground was unevenly shaped to the point where the ball didn’t stop moving if the wind picked up. It reached a point where I lost interest in the game and just played through as near as dammit to putting the ball. If it went near the pin, it was a putt.

Once the crazy, crazy golf was defeated, we decided to try out one of the other trains. Unfortunately the second train was full and the third was full and also not going anywhere for a while. So we went back to the canoe boats and had a bit more fun on the open waves. We finished on there at just the right time to climb aboard the next smallest train, the 10 1/4″ carriages pulled by Eric. This took us to the top of the second line and through the full-sized golf course (which didn’t look half as impressive as the Links at Newquay). The train drops you off at a “fun play area” with a trampoline and some football goals (the less said about me losing the ball, the better…), and a path to the nature walk leading back to the main park area. Hopes were raises to spot a random stoat on the trail, but all we saw were slightly damp plants. We got back again once more just in time to climb aboard the even tinier 7 1/4″ railway, pulled by the unfriendly-named APT. The carriages were so tiny and my hips were so huge (good, child-bearing hips. For a man) that I had to almost sit side-saddle in the open-topped carriage, all by my lonesome. The track itself was also very small indeed (it looks a lot bigger on the out of proportion map), and went round twice. I think the only thing we didn’t do was the brick maze because it looked a bit pants. I don’t think it can ever be called a maze if you can just walk in a straight line to the centre. Ignoring the bricks, obviously.

I recommend giving Lappa Valley a try if you’re in Cornwall, have kids or are a big kid at heart (like us bunch of kidless twenty-somethings). It may also be a good place to spot wildlife, but that might be a better idea when the weather is somewhat more pleasant. Their website (PLUG ALERT!) is www.lappavalley.co.uk if you want to check them out.

After the train I decided to get us lost by driving a different route back (shows what happens when it rains, you don’t turn the SatNav on and you’re driving on unfamiliar roads). We popped down to Morrisons, determined to have a BBQ, which we had a dearth of since our arrival on Monday. It just didn’t feel right not having at least one more. We arrived back at the campsite to find our tents trying to fly off in the wind. They weren’t really going anywhere, but it made sense to try and secure them to the ground more firmly just in case. Unfortunately the wind continued along with a torrential downpour, soaking us through, Liz especially. We retreated to the campsite bar to dry off, and to partake in a slightly watery hot chocolate. It ended on a rather sour note when some chap, presumably the owner, told us we were taking up his tables because Dee had brought some food at Morrisons and was eating it inside. I left shortly after, resolute not to re-enter the premises again. Stubborn swine, I know… There were plenty of spare tables for other people as well…

The possibility of a BBQ was a moot one. The wind hadn’t died down in the slightest, to the point where the campsite lost power. Initial plans to eat at the campsite bar were shot down as a result, and we retreated to the relative dryness of McDonalds. Once full of grease and meat (the grease would at least help us float if the campsite flooded – a bit like feeding beefburgers to swans), we drove over to the Quintrell Arms for a quick drink and more chance to dry off, before heading back to the tents and getting to bed. The wind destroyed any possibility of me sleeping, and continued blowing a stormy gale almost non-stop until the following morning. Now THIS was camping!

Aug 25 2010

Camping Holiday – Day 3 – Wednesday 18th August 2010

One thing I forgot to add to yesterday’s blog was that, after dinner, we sat at the campsite bar and was accosted by a chap from York. He was a bit drunk, and pretty much started a minor argument with Tommy. Ant and myself had a laugh about the sequels to The Matrix and missed most of it. But then I was expecting a punchline. After, we watched the stars for a little bit and caught glimpses of a couple of shooting stars before, rather disappointingly, it clouded over and we all headed off to bed. Now, to Wednesday…

Wednesday was another typically slow start. I was up at my normal time, about 7, and decided to charge my phone while everybody else was gettin up and getting ready. I finished off the last 20 pages of The Road, then started reading Louis Theroux’s first book, The Call of the Weird. Managed 40-odd pages before the phone was charged enough to take my leave of the wall sockets. Also felt a bit weird standing around outside the doorway to both the male and female toilets…

We went into Newquay with the plan to visit the zoo and do a few other things in the area to make the most of the parking costs (which is where most of the loose change went all week I think). The zoo itself was great fun, but the “African plain” was very lacklustre. The best of these I’ve ever seen was at a zoo in France a few years ago, with plenty of animals and a LOT of room for them to roam. And bears. Not in the African Plain, just at the zoo generally. This African Plain had a couple of roaming creatures and a couple of zebras in the caged area. And an ostrich, similarly caged. Quite disappointing but the rest of the zoo made up for it.

Then, a minor annoyance set in again. It was decided to head to the beach instead of visiting the Crazy Golf and the nearby pedalos. As previously mentioned, I’m not much of a beach person, but I went along into Newquay and parted ways with the others when they parked up. They went to the beach and I headed into townto scout out the WH Smiths for comics. They didn’t stock the usual range I buy, so I decided to leave buying them until I got home. Quickly nipped into Poundland for some cheap Pepsi then headed over to the beach via the Links golf course, which I wouldn’t mind playing a round on one day. I diverted off before hitting the beach proper to sit on the hill between the car and Fistral beach, where they all were. I sent a general text to everyone in the hope that someone would have their phone switched on so they could find me. Luckily Adam had his phone to hand as he had gone for a walk along the coast instead of dousing himself in sea water. I met up with him on the coastal path and shortly afterwards we saw the others approaching their beach encampment. We headed down to join them and discovered that seagulls had eaten all of Ant’s doughnuts which he had jus bought (and a sandwich of Rich’s too, I believe).

After they had all lounged on the beach for a bit and redressed, we stayed on the seafront for a bit where Liz treated me to some traditional seaside fish and chips, which were gloriously nice, very tasty indeed. Then we walked into town for dinner. We initially chose a seafront restaurant that dealt primarily in seafood. Rather handily, after all the effort we spent in walking down to it, they told us we couldn’t eat there without a reservation. So instead we went back up into the street and chose the Olde Dolphin pub next to (and above) the arcades. We had a set menu which consisted of two courses for £10, which was incredibly good value for what we got. Everyone else waxed lyrical about their meals, Ant especially who wanted to take our waitress home in a box because he thought she was “lovely”. No idea where he’d keep all these boxed women if he ever got to follow up on his desires…

I decided against having a started and chose a pudding of apple crumble, which was rather nice. For my main it was a chicken curry, mostly lacking in spice and, despite everybody else praising the food as highly as they could, the best I could muster was “it’s alright”. It was nice, don’t get me wrong, but I rarely get that excited about food. Unless it’s coconut ice, which I found in a sweet shop after dinner. Glorious. We’d hoped for more stars but the clouds were not forgiving.

In retrospect it’s a good job they went to the beach that day, the weather was perfect for it and degraded considerably for our remaining few days in the area. And ultimately I got to go and do my own thing for a bit, the anti-social swine that I am.

Aug 24 2010

Camping Holiday – Day 2 – Tuesday 17th August 2010

I got off to an early start on Tuesday. It’s been four years since my last camping trip and I dont think I’ll ever get used to waking up with the brightest light in the sky shining in my face. So, I made toilet, showered and got dressed, forgetting every few minutes that I had to keep pushing the button to keep water running in the shower. Accursed timed water release…

I waited for the others to get up, making the most of the spare time by lounging about, watching the world go by and reading The Road by Cormac McCarthy. The lack of punctuation and speech marks was initially jarring but once you get into the story it begins to make sense. The plan for he day was to head into Newquay so the ladies in our group could do some shopping, which was all done rather quickly from what I recall. I think I can blame a combination of Mountain Dew Energy and the long trip the day before, but I ended up feeling a bit cranky and reached the point of no return when it was decided to head to the beach for a bit. I’m not really a beach person, so after lurking near the shops for a bit I decided to retreat back to the car and listen to some podcasts.

This caused a minor incident which I won’t go into too much detail with, but I decided to sit in the car for a while before heading back to the campsite, where I continued reading The Road and partaking in more anti-social behaviour like listing to podcasts with my headphones in while everyone else enjoyed the sunlight while it lasted and threw a whistling American football thing amongst themselves.

Dinner was at the Quintrell Arms, where I decided to have a chicken curry to bring me out of my stroppiness. It then transpired that they had sold out and I had to choose something else. That really didn’t help my mood, further compounded when I received a portion of cheesy garlic bread as a starter. A whole portion indeed of the half a portion I usually get. I could only eat one piece of it, not because it was unpleasant (it was incredibly nice as it happens) but I have a slight issue with digesting garlic, so erm… Yeah.

Adding insult to injury, I threatened to drive home and abandon my passengers in Newquay (harking back to a comment made to me earlier in the day), which didn’t go down too well, and which I managed to keep bottled up until the main course was served. Great timing. Sorted that out reasonably quickly though, and felt much better afterwards, both for releasing my inner annoyance and for having a hot meal.

I’ve had a think about how my little strops work, and I’ve come to the decision that it is 99% based on excessive tiredness. I’ve also decided the only way for me to get over it is to go off and do my own thing for a bit, so a word to the wise if I’m ever being a bit grouchy – just leave me to it.

I don’t really recall what we got up to in the evening, I think it was mostly a case of sitting around outside the tents until it was too cold to stay outside. Then, glorious sleep. I’m happy to report that the rest of my week was much better after a temporary blip in personality. Camping: it brings out the worst in you at times.

Aug 23 2010

Camping Holiday – Day 1 – Monday 16th August 2010

The day started off early (The alarm going off at 6.40am was a bit startling to say the least), allowing plenty of time to make sure the car was packed and to give me time to pick up my three passengers for the trip down to Newquay. A quick round of toast and a final check before I set out. All three passengers were ready at the appointed time and we set out almost on schedule at 8.30am. Unfortunately for everybody in the car, they were pressed in like sardines. Being the driver I think I was the most comfortable all the way down, physically at any rate. Emotionally I was dealing with the fact I couldn’t see out of my rear window, something I’ve never really had to deal with whilst driving before.

What followed was a four hour car journey down to the South West. We only had to stop on two occasions, once just past Bristol for a toilet stop, and once again planned for Junction 28 on the M5, where we would meet up with the other two cars in our proposed convoy. A snag was instantly hit in that no services were signposted at Junction 28, so I carried on to the rather impressive services at Junction 30. Managed to resist buying a Burger King meal, I have a pathological desire to eat them whenever I go away on holiday, mostly because it’s a long distance to travel to buy one at home.

We met up with Adam, but Ant and Rich ended up missing the turn and somehow ended up traveling south towards Plymouth. We decided to carry on and meet them somewhere along the way. I was glad to discover that Mountain Dew has returned to these shores, in the form of Mountain Dew Energy. By the time I got to drink it it had gone warm, so I may have to seek out another bottle and drink it as nature intended – chilled. Shame it cost £1.70 a bottle at the services…

We eventually met up with Ant and Rich on the A30 towards Newquay, and after another brief stop at a petrol station we continued on to the camp site at Trethiggey. It wasn’t too difficult to find, about 600 yards from the main through-road to Newquay. Just out of the way of most of the traffic and not horrendously busy, unlike the camp site a bit further down the road – very busy, situated right on the main road, and very restrictive in that you have to park your car next to the tent. Trethiggey was much more pleasant. A convenience shop and a reasonably priced bar/restaurant, a separate car park and the option to pitch your tent anywhere you like in the field. Naturally we positioned our three tents in a triangular formation, spurning outsiders and firmly establishing a base camp. The toilet and washing facilities were pretty decent for a campsite, four showers, four toilets and a trough for peeing in. I’ve never been one for using a trough or urinal, but I could smell them from some distance away. Even more concerning was that the games room was next door to the gents toilets, and you could hear people talking through the wall as if they were stood outside your cubicle. A bit freaky.

Setting up the tents was surprisingly easy, none more so for my tent as I’d never actually tried setting it up until our arrival. Once the sleeping arrangements were sorted we popped to McDonalds for a quick snack, then to Morrisons next door for BBQ food and supplies. I have never seen a supermarket quite as busy as that, and I spent seven years working Christmas week at Tesco.

We struggled through the masses and bought man food – meat, bread and beer. Well, I bought Dr Pop seeing as I’m not the drinking type, but still, enduring image isn’t it? We headed back to the campsite and set fire to some meat (all rather tasty). After the food was consumed it was getting on a bit, so we decided to nip up to the Quintrell Arms, a pub just a short walk from the campsite. They had some really nice red leather chairs in the bar, conjuring the image of some exclusive gentlemen’s club. But of course it wasn’t – it was a family pub.

The evening at the pub drew to a close as we all finished our first drink, the travels of the day obviously having their toll. Except on me, I was pumped full of Mountain Dew Energy. It took a while to get off to sleep, but I managed it eventually. Then we just had to deal with the excessive number of rabbits that roam the grounds at night, some of which decided to sleep against some of our tents. Thankfully I didn’t have any close encounters…

Jul 24 2010

It begins…

Right, let’s see if we can maintain a blog for an extended period of time. My last attempt only lasted one entry, and my own website only had three or four. This will be different however. I have plenty to write about here!

For starters, this will all mostly be updated via my iPhone, I tend to have more scribbling time on here than anywhere else, so that’s a definite bonus. I’ll also be including lots of different subjects on this blog, from movie reviews to general commentary to plugging our latest projects. Hopefully it will end up being quite entertaining. If not, let me know and I’ll partake in some self flagellation.

Until I do another update, please check out my Twitter feed at www.twitter.com/hugegreenburger and my YouTube channel at www.YouTube.com/randomsoat

Jun 13 2010

Hercules In New York – DVD Commentary

Welcome to a brand new feature, a DVD commentary available for the Movie Review podcast, where we sit through Hercules In New York, the 1969 “classic” featuring Arnold Schwarzenegger in his first starring role.

May 15 2010

Super Mario Kart

Another quiet couple of weeks, but we’ve been hard at work on various projects (more news soon). Until then, here’s the first of about 10 60SG updates – a retro review of Super Mario Kart.

Apr 18 2010

Bioshock 2

It’s been a quiet couple of weeks (holidays over Easter and a bit of a cold), but what better what to celebrate the middle of the month than with THREE reviews? Check out the videos for reviews of Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune, Bioshock and Bioshock 2.

Apr 18 2010

Bioshock

It’s been a quiet couple of weeks (holidays over Easter and a bit of a cold), but what better what to celebrate the middle of the month than with THREE reviews? Check out the videos for reviews of Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune, Bioshock and Bioshock 2.

Apr 18 2010

Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune

It’s been a quiet couple of weeks (holidays over Easter and a bit of a cold), but what better what to celebrate the middle of the month than with THREE reviews? Check out the videos for reviews of Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune, Bioshock and Bioshock 2.